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Parent Post: 3/25 What Do you look for in a Mate?
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In Reply To
simms
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4/14/2025, 2:40:06 AM
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Well said! I do have a question though. So say if someone well below your level of prowess were to challenge you and you repeatedly warn them that it won’t play out how they imagine it might but they still want to get into it, is it respectful to handle them as if they were on your level?
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seraphima
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4/14/2025, 11:11:54 AM
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Hey! Well, in a relationship, I’m not confrontational or anything so it’s a red flag for me if and when a guy constantly pushes. When I said “challenge,” I meant that he can speak freely with me and I’ll be engaged and actually listen to him and want to actively address any issues he has. But he’s gotta approach me nicely—just as I would do. No one likes being insulted and backed into a corner. As for others, especially if I’m not in relationship with them, I don’t know them, whatever, and they challenge me, I will respond and keep my peace. If they won’t leave well enough alone, I ignore them. I don’t look at people as above or beneath me but only real and genuine or not. I don’t engage with assholes. 😊
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simms
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4/14/2025, 12:29:17 PM
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I agree wholeheartedly. I asked in reference to punching down. my thought process went to non romantic engagements. I believe relationships should be a place of peace. And if parties fundamentally disagree they should not waste their time forcing their way. however in terms of conflict between non romantic people… let me reword my question. if a man were to try and engage in violence with me. And I decline said invitation but they president. And I say buddy it’s not going down the way you want this to and they engage none the less and I flatten them would you respect me less for doing so (say I was punching down) or could you rationalize that I was being respectful by engaging them as if they were an equal and not patronizing them?
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seraphima
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4/14/2025, 1:30:31 PM
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As a woman, all I can say is that between men, I believe, sometimes violence is necessary. Bullies only speak the language of violence and sometimes a man has to meet another “man,” a bully, where he is and “flatten” him. When I referred to the concept of “punching down,” I only meant that it’s easy to take jabs and be aggressive for no legitimate reason. It’s easy to make assumptions about strangers and trash talk expecting no consequences. For example, in a previous post, a “man” asked about whether or not free thought is feminine. I engaged with his material and offered up my own personal experiences. He came back at me by calling me a “bitch” and insulting me and my character. He dragged my life through the mud and made generalizations like a bitter, angry misogynist would do. If I was a man and this guy said what he said to me, in person, to my face, I’d tell him he was out of line. I’d walk away. If he continued to try to bait me and continued insulting me, especially if no one else was around, I’d beat him down. But, context is everything. So, as a woman, though, I try not to be aggressive and rude. I always give people the benefit of the doubt and remain patient with them unless and until they give me a reason to punch them literally and or figuratively. punching down, then, to me, means that one takes pot shots at others, especially those who are vulnerable and not a threat, just because they like and enjoy drama and violence. Punching down = being a garbage person and taking advantage of others. As a man, as a good man, I admire and respect it if and when he defends himself and others.
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