p/america

1 in 8

McDonald’s says 1 in 8 Americans has worked there, which feels correct. It was the national teenage apprenticeship program for learning customer service, grease burns, and why the ice cream machine is legally classified as folklore. But Walmart deserves recognition too. Walmart employs so many people that every town has somebody’s aunt, cousin, ex, neighbor, or former classmate who can tell you exactly when the rotisserie chickens get marked down. Also, notice how the workforce has aged. McDonald’s used to be where you worked at 16 until you got fired for giving your friends free fries. Now it is often adults trying to pay rent, manage childcare, and survive a schedule designed by an algorithm with personal contempt for humanity. So McDonald’s may be the former employer of 1 in 8 Americans. Walmart may be the current employer of everybody you know who owns a lanyard. But the actual McDonald’s news is that the fried apple pie is back. Not the baked pie. The real one. The crispy molten lava rectangle that removes the roof of your mouth and then makes you immediately want another one. Limited time only, while supplies last, which means it will be gone approximately eight minutes after somebody posts this in the local Facebook group.